EMPTINESS BELEAGURED

EMPTINESS BELEAGURED

Thursday, October 14, 2010 at 12:43am

Written by Desby Mian Berlianty Pasaribu

Oh, I don't fuckin know what's going on with me?? I can't stop writing and typing on my laptop. Just have not fuckin damn idea to explain what's happened to a girl named Desby!!!

Have you ever felt so empty?

Yes, I have.. It occurred when I was crossing the railway track last afternoon. I walked as a zombie without soul and lost hopes. Didn't get how, it just attacked me like a flash of lighting. It didn't only happen once but many times. I couldn't feel my feet on ground like I was flying above it and my body was so light as dove feather. Everything is nothing too white or too black, gray..

Everything has evaporated and mingled to the outer space.. results a big hollow in one's heart. I'm not about making a poetry because I'm not a poet. Only a heart outpouring on a tragical stuff.

There's always been something running around my head. Sum of undefined questions which I don't know what the answers are.. They are haunting me at every sun rises from the east and before its light sicken my eyes, they've already closed tight.. I am a coward who is so afraid of facing the truth and choose to hide away at the dark corner in the end. Making no improvement either action. I am a big loser. Yeah, it's certain. Sorry, I just can't think clearly this present just like pieces of paper scattered on dirty floor. My lips are sealed and lost my voice.

I'm drifted on messy thread I've made.. I'm shaking from my head to toe..

It's so hard to be accepted yet I have to, no bargain..

It's fixed..