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Minggu, 17 Oktober 2010

BOARDING HOUSE (IT'S BEEN 4 TIMES)



BOARDING HOUSE (IT'S BEEN 4 TIMES)


Sunday_Mar28’2010 (3.14 PM)

Written by Desby Mian Berlianty Pasaribu


Hmmm,, I think, time has gone so fast in a blink (I’m just overrated!!!). Yeah, I’m already at 3rd year student of University of Indonesia. Well, Jeez!! It’s only a year more and promise me I’ll graduate on time. Hahaha.. I don’t even have a theme for my undergraduate thesis yet. T.T” Anyway, just forget it for awhile (just don’t have any mood to discuss it right now and right here.. hahhaa, intermezzo!!). Oh yes, as I remember that I have already moved 4 times in case of looking for the proper boarding house just to meet my convenience and comfort. It’s kinda a lil’ bit self centered but it does matter for me!!

The first boarding house that I ever lived was somewhere in Kutek, the main reason why I left it was I forced by situation to wait the yellow bus (it was kinda bored because you had to wait quite long at bus stop anyway and I hate it), moreover it located very deep inside so I felt like isolated somehow from the city life (it’s kinda rural area something, so desolate at night but sometimes I heard some noises which came from the native youngsters, played guitar and sang songs that I didn’t know who were the singers and their voices were so bad... totally disturbed my time to study), and the most sucks thing which often happened was black out!!! (Bloody hell, I kinda scared because my boarding house was completely dark and I was about afraid of something would appear in the middle of dark, something transparent, passed through the wall, and untouched ground). I started imagine something silly, I lived at the second floor and there were only five rooms. The bad news was 2 rooms were empty!! One on my right room and the other was just right in front of my room!! Damn, so it was only the 3 of us (fellas from Law and Psychology Faculty) and when the blackout attacked we ran out from our room and down stairs quickly (the frequency would be more in rainy season and it’s exactly terror for me). Because i didn’t like that such situation so, i quite often slept over at my pal’s room (Dormitory, Sawo Alley, Barel (behind the railway station), Pocin (at margonda), Kober, or somewhere else). Hahaa.. I was just alike a pre-historic man who had not a permanent place to live (nomaden). I lived about a year so, i spent 2 terms stayed at that fuckin’ house. I just couldn’t stand anylonger, it’s torturing me!!

So, I decided to move to Sawo Alley, it located exactly behind the railway station. Some of my best buddies were stayed there (up till now), i was so happy living in my second boarding house. I lived at the second floor (again) room number 19 (there were 19 rooms) and the good news was there were huge windows so i could starred up to the sky, watched every shape of clouds and enjoyed the sunlight when it went down, from my yummy bed. It was a bright room (so much different from my previous one because the formerly one was kinda dark, yes there was a window but very, very small and when i opened it all i could see was only wall of neighbor’s house!! Sucks!). Well, leave all those past behind!! (i had buried them in coffin). It’s a lovable place with the cordiality of people who living there, so much fun!! And i didn’t have to wait the yellow bus anymore just to get home (yeah, i’m free!!), moreover i could go to anywhere i wanted because the access was much better, it near by the Margonda boulevard!! Hmmm.. I thought it was the most comportable place and didn’t have any idea to move anymore. Unfortunately, my sister just accepted as a student of State Polytechic Jakarta. Daddy wanted us to have a shared room and i still wanted to live here but there was no room available. So, i left my bright room which i loved so much with burdened heart. Hiikss.. >.< (so sad..!!). I spent my life along ayear there. Now it’s over!! T___T”

Finally, for the third times, i officially moved!! But not far away from my second boarding house. We (i, dad, and my sister) got the new one, it was in Kober. Actually i didn’t like it so much because it’s dark and so many plants there (uugghh,, i hate them so much.. i’m kinda afraid of them. Indeed!!). The owner was so crazy about plants and every morning, i usually caught her watering them and sometimes planting the new one (oh, pleasee.. It was just already looked alike woods!!). It’s frightening me anyway!! Besides that the window of my room couldn’t be opened!! The bathroom lamp was yellow (i don’t like yellow lamps in room, i’m just afraid). One the good news, there was a swimming pool which could be used by occupants only!! Hmmm, it was such fun when i felt so hot and sweaty by the sunlight and then i splashed down into the pool. Damn cool and bbrrrr...!!! It provided complete public facilities such as a very large fridge, television, stove, wash basin, daily newspaper, dining room, sofa, living room, mineral water, and terrace house keeping!! But all those good stuffs didn’t satify me at all, i wanted to get out from that blaze as soon as possible!! (it just kept running on my head everyday and always bugging me). I couldn’t live my life happily, felt terribly insecure and lack of pleasant (i didn’t know why i felt such bad things, i just felt so. That’s all, besides because of the plants!). I stayed there only 3 months!! No, i didn’t have any desire at all to overstay my contract.

For the fourth times, i moved and found the new one again!! (I and Niken searched together). It’s still located in Kober because i love this place, an alley where you can find anything what you need and want such as stationeries, computer accessories, shoes, clothes, foods, book stores (new or used), photocopy services, and much more along the way!! (it’s cool!!) and moreover they (the merchants) are charged the reasonable prices on their goods and services (not too expensive and very competitive!!). Well, my new boarding house which i still stay up till present is quite cozy to live in. I like it, just like my second boarding house. It’s bright, large windows, and not much plants!! (that’s the most important.. haha!! I also phobia of butterflies). Hmm... i can open my door widely in the morning and smell the air these days. I feel so much better now, no worries, no anxious. Those things had gone away!! If i compare the facilities that i got between my third boarding house and the last one, surely i don’t get such things at all in my new ghetto but i don’t really need them anyway. I care nothing a damn!! I hope, this gonna be the last time of my migration. I really enjoy this place. The picture above is corners that i captured from my room! ^^, It is light blue painted, fair large room for two, white lamps, and no more black out!!

EMPTINESS BELEAGURED

EMPTINESS BELEAGURED

Thursday, October 14, 2010 at 12:43am

Written by Desby Mian Berlianty Pasaribu



Oh, I don't fuckin know what's going on with me?? I can't stop writing and typing on my laptop. Just have not fuckin damn idea to explain what's happened to a girl named Desby!!!

Have you ever felt so empty?

Yes, I have.. It occurred when I was crossing the railway track last afternoon. I walked as a zombie without soul and lost hopes. Didn't get how, it just attacked me like a flash of lighting. It didn't only happen once but many times. I couldn't feel my feet on ground like I was flying above it and my body was so light as dove feather. Everything is nothing too white or too black, gray..

Everything has evaporated and mingled to the outer space.. results a big hollow in one's heart. I'm not about making a poetry because I'm not a poet. Only a heart outpouring on a tragical stuff.

There's always been something running around my head. Sum of undefined questions which I don't know what the answers are.. They are haunting me at every sun rises from the east and before its light sicken my eyes, they've already closed tight.. I am a coward who is so afraid of facing the truth and choose to hide away at the dark corner in the end. Making no improvement either action. I am a big loser. Yeah, it's certain. Sorry, I just can't think clearly this present just like pieces of paper scattered on dirty floor. My lips are sealed and lost my voice.

I'm drifted on messy thread I've made.. I'm shaking from my head to toe..


It's so hard to be accepted yet I have to, no bargain..

It's fixed..

LET ME DANCE ONCE AGAIN

LET ME DANCE ONCE AGAIN

Wednesday, Oct 13' 2010 _ 10.34PM

Written by Desby Mian Berlianty Pasaribu


What should I name about today besides I really hate number 13?!! Yes, I hate that number a lot (pardon me for those who are born on 13th or big fan of it). It's just my personal matter.. in my belief it brings bad luck to my life (and it's proven!!). I'm kinda phobia of that number because it such a curse that leads you to your cemetery [a lil' bit overrated]. Last night I slept around 2 AM in the morning because I found myself hard to have my eyes rest closed. When I woke up this morning I was surprised by a message on my facebook such the worst nightmare ever. I'm feeling so blue while Water and Bridges - Dashboard Confessional keep rolling over and over again from my notebook. I felt so lonesome in my dorm room, just only me and my notebook. I hadn't even had breakfast and my belly had burnt with hunger. And at 11 AM, a friend of mine came by and saved me from heart destruction. I thought I will spend whole day all alone in grief. Thank God, she came by.. She brought me lunch and the menu was something that I've been waiting for so long "Her Momma's Gudeg." Yeah, I'm in love with this traditional java food because her Momma's Gudeg is different than any others. The taste was kinda sweet and a lil bit salty, hmmm.. great combination!! She was shocked when she found me in a messy look in front of my notebook with music turned on so loud. The chit-chat flowed like river down-streaming. At 2 PM, She went to my other girl-friend's dorm because I had to give lesson to one of friend of mine. Well, I had two classes today were Tax Management [11 - 1 PM] and Tax Seminar [5 - 7 PM]. But you know what.. both of them were postponed!! Crazy!! So, the only one thing I did at campus today was taught my friend with a big hole which torn my heart a part. I tried to focus on the lesson that I gave but always failed to meet the concentration. It was about 6 PM, I went to that other girl-friend's dorm and also asked her to teach me about Tax Audit's assignment but my friend that came by to my dorm had gone home.

Wow, it's easy actually.. Silly me!!

I didn't understand why so much water poured down from navy blue starless sky tonight?! Because of it, I had to wait until it stopped.

Everything's wet and everyone's in hurry.. but it seemed won't to stop anyway!!

I decided to borrow my friend's umbrella and walk in the rain by myself, just by myself. I wanted to shout out loud, and then I did it. My childhood memories suddenly filled my head. It was only 14 years ago when I and my little neighbors released burst of laughs, ran around, chased one after another and no need to worry about tomorrow. Please, let me dance once again in the rain and feel the drops strike my face gently as I used to do.

But I couldn't..

I COME ALONG WITH YOU (CONGRATS!!)

I COME ALONG WITH YOU (CONGRATS!!)

Wednesday, October 13’ 2010_1:13am

Written by Desby Mian Berlianty Pasaribu


He doesn't know how long she has been waiting for him.

Long, very long..

She knew that she ever made a stupid decision that has changed everything.

He doesn't know how many times that she spends thinking about him..

He doesn't know how many tears that comes streaming from her dark brown eyes..

These things ruin her into pieces..

She's been crushing on him since the first time she realized how bright he is.

Now, She can't even hope anymore for the second chance coming.

She knows the bitter facts and has to swallow them.

She thinks that maybe it's the best for him...

From a distance she still watches him because she barely catches him in the eyes again this year.

All she desired to tell is "I'm happy seeing you happy, dear"

He deserves, Yes he obviously deserves..

Congrats!! :))

*Her sweet Christmas Present